Finding the Pieces

The story of how a lost boy found home

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Father, husband, professor, writer, nerd.

  • Staying Motivated: Losing Weight One Failure or Success at a Time

    Motivation is a tricky thing. A few of my friends have told me they wish they had the motivation and dedication I have when it comes to losing weight, but I have a little secret: I still struggle with motivation. Every. Single. Day. Losing weight is not easy. Sure, I’ve managed to keep at it the last two years, but that doesn’t mean I wake up every morning and say “I want to go workout right now” or “A banana and questionably thick and bland oatmeal sounds so much better than a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch.”

    So how does one keep working towards losing weight? To be honest, I’m not sure. I don’t think there is one right way (or one wrong way) to stay motivated and keep working towards any goal. But I do know that I’m in this for life. I know that I want to live a long and healthy life, and I’m not going to do that if I keep eating processed crap that unfortunately tastes oh so good. I know that even when I reach my goal weight I’m not going to be ‘done.’ Our culture of quick-fix diets tells us that we can do a few magic tricks to lose 20 or 30 pounds, but then what? When was the last time you saw a magazine headline that said “A New and Healthier You: A Lifetime of Eating Right and Exercising”? Most of us don’t want a lifetime of health. And I think that when it comes to getting that final boost of motivation you need to actually lose the weight and keep it off, we need to see that it’s a bigger commitment than drinking pond scum smoothies for a few weeks.

    So I guess what I’m saying is that losing weight is not easy. Staying motivated is not easy. So is there any hope for those of us who are trying to lose weight? Of course there is! You didn’t think I was writing this just to tell you all hope is lost, did you? I’m writing this because I wish someone would have told me this sooner. I wish someone would have told me that losing weight and completely changing the way you live is not easy, but it is possible. I wish someone would have told me that not every weigh-in was going to be a happy one. I wish someone would have told me that even though it’s hard, it’s more than worth the effort.

    I have been stumbling along this crazy journey of weight loss for two years now, and it took me about a year to realize all of this. And what did it do for me? It taught me that it’s okay to forgive myself for eating a little too much at that family picnic. It taught me that sometimes the scale is going to show a number that I’m not too happy with, but that’s ok because I know that I’m trying as hard as I can. And most importantly, it helped me realize that it didn’t take a few months for me to gain all of this weight in the first place, so it’s probably going to take a bit longer than that to lose it.

    Realizing that losing weight is going to take a lifetime of commitment is step one of successfully losing weight, or at least it was for me. But that’s just the beginning. Weight-loss looks different for each of us, and there is no shortage of advice in the form of books, magazine, blogs, and online ‘articles’ telling us all how we can be the next big success story. Over the next few posts I’m going to talk about a few things that I’ve tried while losing weight, some of them working wonderfully and some of them failing terribly. I only know what works for me, but I’m hoping that sharing a bit of what I know can help you find what works for you.

    Question of the Day: What is the most helpful thing you have found to keep you motivated while losing weight or maintaining a healthy lifestyle? I’m always looking for new ideas and I would love to hear some of yours!

     

  • These Small Moments

    Sometime last year I was asked a question I didn’t know the answer to: what is your Myers-Briggs personality type? And being the young scholar that I am, I decided that I needed to find out so that I could properly answer the question. After doing a little bit of research and taking a few versions of this test, the results seemed rather clear. I was an INTJ, which stood for Introverted, Intuition, Thinking, Judging. For all I knew that could mean anything, so I did some more research (I’m sensing a pattern here).

    After reading a few articles I felt secure enough in my newfound knowledge to give the answer to the original question. For the sake of time I don’t plan on expanding on every detail of my personality type in this post, but I do want to focus on one particular element that stood out to me: INTJ’s are apparently some of the most future-orieneted of all 16 types on the Myers-Briggs scale. There were a few parts of the classic INTJ that I didn’t necessarily identify with, but this wasn’t one of them. I had a ten-year plan by time I was in pre-school and was planning college applications before I’d even started middle school. I’m always looking ahead, especially when it concerns my own future.

    Now there is nothing wrong with having goals. We all have them. I think it’s healthy to have an idea of what we want and who we want to be. But if I’ve learned anything in my last few years at university, it’s that our plans don’t always go as we intend them to. When I was 17 I was more than sure that I was going to get my degree in journalism and go on to write for the New York Times or some other major media company. To give you an idea of how well that worked out, let me just say that I’m set to graduate in December and I’ve only taken one journalism course over the last three years.

    So am I saying that we should stop making plans and just hope for the best? Well, not exactly. Again, planning for the future is a good thing. But I think that there is something to be said about – pardon the cliche – living in the moment. I love planning things. I love planning out my entire day down to the minute. I love thinking about where I might be in five years. But sometimes I get a glimpse of what is happening right in front of me, and I remember that I can’t keep fixating on what hasn’t happened yet.

    I realized this again this afternoon when I was having family dinner at my grandparents house. Here we all were, sitting around the living room, talking and laughing. My brother had taken my seat when I moved across the room for a moment, so I decided to be funny and sit on his lap for revenge. He just laughed and gave me a hug. This turned into an opportunity for selfies, which then resulted in more laughing as bunny-ears were thrown and slightly less-than-normal faces were made at the camera. Between the banter and giggles, I stopped for a moment to look around. One of my cousins was sitting on one side of me, my mom on the other. Grandpa was picking on our youngest cousin. Grandma was talking to my aunt and uncle at the kitchen table. It was simple, but it made me smile. It reminded me that these small moments are what matter. The future matters, too. But it can wait just a little longer.

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  • Just Start Writing

    I decided to try something new today. Instead of spending an unacceptable amount of time trying to write the perfect blog post, I’m just going to start writing. So bear with me for a moment, this might get a little bit bumpy.

    When I first started this blog I wasn’t really sure what I wanted it to be. I knew that I wanted to write. I knew that I wanted to push myself beyond the boundaries of my bubble of comfort which limited my readers to my mom and professors grading essays. I also knew that I was in the middle of a strange but exhilarating place in my life that was made up of a lot of little things that made up one big thing: change.

    The last two years have been a whirlwind of change. Almost two years ago now I told myself that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, so I started losing weight, and have lost over 100 pounds since then. In the spring of 2013 I found out that I would be spending four months studying at the University of Oxford, and it took an entire summer and a transatlantic flight to convince me that it was actually happening. I spent four of the hardest but most rewarding and life-changing months in Oxford, England this last fall. While I was there I fell in love with reading and writing once more, but more importantly I was blessed with an amazing community of people that became my family.

    The things that have happened since Oxford are still a little blurry, but I can tell you that change is still a pretty big element in my life right now. I’m pushing myself past limits I never thought possible. I’ve been accepted to the Master’s program at the University of Essex for English Language and Literature. I just spent the last month traveling with a friend I met in Oxford, and I know that if someone would have told me that would happen even one year ago I would have probably laughed. I’m not the girl that pushes boundaries. I’m not the girl that throws comfort and familiarity to the side of the freeway. Or at least I didn’t used to be that girl.

    So what is the point of all this ranting nonsense? There are a lot of things that are important to me. Those things don’t always fit into neat categories, and that’s why this blog has been titled ‘Finding the Pieces.’ I’m still figuring out this weird phenomenon we’ve called life, so I want to pay attention to everything that matters to me right now, even if that means having a blog that is thrown together in a slightly haphazard fashion. Because at the end of the day I know that I want to write, and what better way than to just start writing?

  • A Term In Oxford: The City of Books, Essays, Rainy Days, and Old Buildings

    I realize it’s been quite a long time since I’ve written a blog post, and the reason for that is a little complicated. To make the explanation simpler, though, I will say that it’s a combination of my ridiculously busy work-school-internship schedule and a few other excuses that I won’t bother you with.

    You see, the truth is that I’ve missed this. I’ve missed blogging and talking about everything from weight loss to Oxford. I had a feeling that I would not have many chances to blog while I was studying in Oxford, so I had planned on writing something of a “hey, I’m back, want to hear all about Oxford?” post as soon as I came home in December. But each time I sat down, opened up my laptop, and tried to explain just what Oxford meant to me, I couldn’t find the words to explain it.

    I’ve been home for almost three months now, and even though I don’t think I will ever be able to fully describe the experience that Oxford was, I think it’s time to give it a try. (more…)

  • Living in a Dream

    I’m alive! For the few of you who still remember that I exist, I wanted to give you all an update on this crazy roller coaster ride I’ve been on these last few months. In my last blog post I explained how crazy my Summer has been, but also how amazing it has been as I’ve started to discover a whole other online community through a Summer fitness challenge on YouTube.

    While I’ve been falling in love with making videos and getting to know other people who share that passion, I’ve also been getting ready for something kind of amazing and terrifying: spending a whole Semester in Oxford, England (more…)

  • Back to the Basics

    I know I haven’t written very many posts on here lately, and I just wanted to stop in and say that I have not forgotten about you guys. I am still alive and, for the most part, doing very well. The countdown to Oxford is winding down much faster than I was anticipating, and the fact that I will be boarding a plane exactly two weeks from today is something that both excites and terrifies me at the same time.

    When I first started this blog I wanted to make clear that I didn’t really have a clear direction for where it was going to go. I wanted to talk about the things that mattered to me, and hopefully to you, and that could be just about anything. I started out by talking a lot about my efforts to lose weight and other topics that interested me, but pretty soon I started feeling the need to have themed posts full of witty comments and insightful thoughts that would capture my reader’s attention. While all of these things are perfectly fine, I do think that sometimes it’s okay to just get back to the basics, so that’s what this post is all about.

    The reason I wasn’t really talking about my weight loss efforts for so long was because I wasn’t really losing any weight for a good chunk of this year. I was maintaining my weight by maintaining a fairly healthy diet, but the exercise slowed down almost to a dead halt with the exception of a few spurts of inspiration here and there that got me off the couch for a week or two. It wasn’t until very recently that I felt like I was getting back on track again, and if you’ve watched any of the videos that I’ve posted on here then you might know exactly what I’m talking about.

    What started out as just a fun way to challenge myself and become a bit more active than I had been has turned into a community of friends working together to live healthy lives. I started the first 5 week fitness challenge on YouTube not knowing what would come of it. Now those first five weeks are over, and I get to be a part of an amazing group of people (proudly known as the Red Faced Warriors) who support each other as we go through the ups and downs of working towards becoming healthier and happier versions of ourselves.

    These last couple months have been amazing, and it’s because of the amazing support systems that I have surrounding me at home and through this online community. So many things have happened this Summer because of this amazing experience and the development of these new friendships, and here are just a few of them:

    • Losing nearly 20 pounds in almost 2 months
    • Walked in my first 5K race
    • I can now turn on a camera and talk with confidence (until I start editing, of course 😛 )
    • I actually started jogging

    While starting to make YouTube videos has definitely taken up a huge chunk of my time these last several weeks, I wouldn’t go back and do anything different, even if I was given that chance. Because the fact is that making these videos, and more importantly connecting with other people that make videos, has really helped me to grow in ways that I never thought possible.

    Now just because I’ve made nice with YouTube does not mean I’m breaking up with WordPress, I can promise you that. I think I just need to get a better feel for blogging and vlogging at the same time, and I think a big part of that might be me coming to terms with the fact that not every blog post has to be some magnificent revelation.

    Sometimes it’s okay to just sit down and talk about my life and what’s going on in it at that moment. That’s the reason we blog, isn’t it? We share our stories with each other, hoping to connect with at least one other person who gets it. Well right now, my story is being written with plenty of healthy choices, stress and excitement over this amazing adventure that I’m getting ready to go on, and falling in love with a new type of storytelling. Writing is still very much a part of my story, even if it’s not quite center stage for the moment.

  • REDISCOVERING THE MAGIC

    As a college student, writer, and general lover of reading, books are one of my favorite things. If ever I get the chance to spend more than 2 minutes in a thrift store, you can find me crouched down in front of their used book section, and more often than not I will come away with at least one or two books that I’ve yet to read. (more…)

  • WE DID IT!!!! – End of the Five Week Fitness Challenge

    After almost 2 weeks of working on this project, it is finally DONE!!! These last five weeks have been amazing, and I just wanted to try to take some of my favorite moments from it and put it all together in a bit of a montage video. I have made so many amazing friends through this challenge, and I cannot wait to continue on with the next step in this journey:

  • Summer Fitness Challenge: Final Weigh-In

    These last five weeks have been amazing, and I cannot wait to continue on this journey of becoming a healthier me 🙂

  • Not Enough Time

    The older I get the more I’m starting to realize that my parents have been right about at least one piece of advice (or warning) that they’ve been singing ever since I can remember: “just you wait, there will come a day when you realize that there just isn’t enough time in a day.” As  a youngster I never really understood what this meant; how in the world could there not be enough time in a day? Every day has the same amount of hours and minutes, right? (more…)